FIRSTLY, I WOULD JUST LIKE TO SAY HOW PROUD I HAVE BEEN OF VARIOUS MEMBERS OF THE FAMILY TODAY.                                                                                                                          

DAVID. WELL DONE
CORINTHIANS 13 WAS ALWAYS VERY SPECIAL TO THE OLD MAN (HE CALLED IT ‘THE LOVE SONG’). IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN THE STANDARD READING AT FAMILY WEDDINGS, CHRISTENINGS AND FUNERALS. YOU DID HIM PROUD.

RICHARD.
IT HAS ALWAYS REALLY IMPRESSED ME HOW, AT EMOTIONAL FAMILY FUNERALS, YOU CAN FIGHT BACK THE TEARS AND SING A SOLO SO BEAUTIFULLY.  I CERTAINLY COULDN’T DO IT. YOU ARE A BETTER MAN THAN I.

LAUREN – WELL WHAT CAN I SAY? APART FROM BEING THE ELDEST GREAT GRAND CHILD, YOU ARE AN EXCEPTIONALLY WELL-COMPOSED YOUNG LADY FOR SOMEONE STILL ONLY 11 YEARS OLD – VERY WELL DONE.

VICTOR THE FAMILY MAN... AS A FATHER - HE WAS SIMPLY THE BEST - BETTER THAN ALL THE REST.  HE LOVED AND TOTALLY SPOILT ROSEMARY AND MYSELF, HE ALWAYS PUT OUR INTERESTS BEFORE HIS OWN, HE ALWAYS PROTECTED US, HUGGED US WHEN WE WERE ILL AND FORGAVE US WHEN WE WERE NAUGHTY. OUR HOME WAS A PLACE THAT WAS WARM, SAFE, SECURE AND RINGING WITH HIS LAUGHTER. I HAVE SUCH HAPPY MEMORIES OF MY CHILDHOOD.

DAD WAS THE DOYEN OF THE FAMILY – RIGHT UP UNTIL THE END HE WAS THE WISE ELDER, THE CHIEF AND MEDICINE MAN OF OUR TRIBE.  IF ANY OF US HAD A PROBLEM, AN IDEA OR PLAN FOR THE FUTURE, WE WOULD ALWAYS RUN IT PAST HIM FIRST AND SEEK HIS COUNCIL.  WHEN A CHILD WAS BORN HE WAS THE FIRST TO BE TELEPHONED, BUT MOST TIMES THIS WASN’T NECESSARY AS HE HAD AN UNCANNY ABILITY TO ‘APPEAR OUT OF THE WINGS’ AT THE APPROPRIATE MOMENT.

IN FACT, I HAVE NEVER KNOWN ANY OTHER HUMAN BEING THAT WAS SO GENUINALLY PROUD AND EXCITED WHEN AN ADDITION TO THE FAMILY ARRIVED. (HE HAD 5 GRAND CHILDREN AND 5 GREAT GRANDCHILDREN).  I THINK HE SAW IT AS ANOTHER MEANING OF LIFE AFTER DEATH AND IT GAVE HIM HUGE PLEASURE.   WE ALL LOVED HIM VERY MUCH AND WE WILL MISS HIM MORE THAN I CAN THINK OF ADEQUATE WORDS TO SAY.

HE ALSO LOVED BEING A HAPPILY MARRIED MAN AND MADE A COMPLETE SUCCESS OF THIS CHALLENGE TWICE.- FIRST TO MY MOTHER - RITA (FOR 35 YEARS) AND THEN TO MOIRA (FOR THE LAST 25 YEARS). IT ISN’T MANY MEN WHO CAN BOAST ACHIEVING TWO SILVER WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES.

HOWEVER, WE THE FAMILY, BADLY LET HIM DOWN ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS, MAINLY BY SOME OF US DYING WITHOUT HIS PERMISSION. THE PREMATURE DEATH OF MY SISTER - ROSEMARY (ALWAYS HIS FAVOURITE) WAS A VERY CRUEL BLOW. AND THEN 2 YEARS AGO, HIS GRANDSON - JAMES TRAGICALLY PASSED AWAY, IT HIT HIM VERY HARD. BUT HIS BIGGEST SHOCK WAS WHEN MY MOTHER DIED IN 1980. MANY OF US THOUGHT HE WOULD NEVER RECOVER.
                                                                                                                       
BUT BEING A BLACK COUNTRY LAD AND NOT BEING A QUITTER, HE PICKED HIMSELF UP, DUSTED HIMSELF OFF, MET AND MARRIED MOIRA. HE THEN STARTED A NEW LIFE OF ENJOYMENT AND COMPANIONSHIP  WHICH LASTED THE LAST QUARTER OF A CENTURY.

THE OTHER GREAT LOVE OF HIS LIFE (AS WE HAVE ALREADY HEARD) WAS HIS MEDICAL CAREER.  I WAS FASCINATED BY THE DETAILS SO WONDERFULLY EXPOUNDED BY SIR JOHN TEMPLE A FEW MINUTES AGO. I KNEW MY FATHER FOR 58 YEARS BUT MUCH OF WHAT JOHN REVEALED, I WAS HEARING FOR THE FIRST TIME.  I HAD ONLY SEEN THIS ASPECT OF HIS LIFE FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FAMILY FENCE.

HIS GREAT AUNT TOLD ME THAT WHEN HE WAS 5 YEARS OLD (JUST AFTER HIS PARENTS HAD DIED), HE ANNOUNCED THAT HE WANTED TO BE A DOCTOR WHEN HE GREW UP. EVERYONE LAUGHED – BECAUSE PENNILESS RAGGY ARSED ORPHANS LIVING IN LOWER GORNAL (IN THE BLACK COUNTRY) NEVER ASPIRED TO SUCH HEIGHTS. HOWEVER, AFTER A WEEK HE CHANGED HIS MIND - HE DIDN’T WANT TO BE A DOCTOR ANYMORE – HE WANTED TO BE A SURGEON. SOMEHOW WITH SCHOLARSHIPS AND CHARITABLE BURSARIES - HIS CHILDHOOD DREAM CAME TRUE.

I REMEMBER SHORTLY AFTER HE HAD RETIRED, THE TWO OF US WERE SITTING IN THE GREENHOUSE, REFLECTING AND HAVING A ‘MAN TO MAN’ TALK (SMOKING OUR PIPES AND TAKING  IT IN TURNS TO BREAK WIND)  AND HE SAID “GOD, I HAVE BEEN SO LUCKY IN MY LIFE – I HAVE GONE OUT TO WORK EVERY DAY, ONLY TO INDULGE MYSELF IN MY HOBBY - AND I HAVE ACTUALLY BEEN PAID TO DO IT!   BETWEEN YOU AND ME -. I WOULD HAVE DONE IT FOR NOTHING, EVEN IF IT MEANT GETTING A NEWSPAPER ROUND TO PUT FOOD ON THE TABLE”.

ANOTHER ENDEARING FEATURE OF DAD WAS HIS WICKED SENSE OF HUMOUR. HE JUST LOVED TO LAUGH AND MAKE OTHERS JOIN IN. YOU NEVER GOT A SENTENCE OUT WITHOUT HIM INTERRUPTING WITH A WITTY REMARK. IN FACT, THOSE PEOPLE THAT I HAVE MET IN THE LAST SEVERAL WEEKS HAVE ALL OBSERVED THE SAME, WITH REMARKS SUCH AS –“WHAT A CHARACTER, HE ALWAYS SPOKE HIS MIND” BUT MY FAVOURITE, SEVERAL DAYS AGO IN TESCO’S. “HE HAD A SENSE OF HUMOUR THAT WAS INFECTIOUS - HE COULD MAKE A PREGNANT NUN LAUGH!” 

HE DIDN’T PARTICULARLY TELL REHEARSED JOKES (THE ENGLISHMAN, IRISHMAN  ETC) BUT RATHER ‘SIT COM’ AND RELATE TO TRUE LIFE EVENTS.  IN AN ALMOST ‘BILLY CONNOLLY’ STYLE, HE WOULD COME HOME IN THE EVENING, TELL US ABOUT HIS DAY AND SOON HAVE US ROLLING ABOUT ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING.
                                                                                                                                    
BY WAY OF AN EXAMPLE - HE TOLD US ABOUT WHEN HE WAS A NEWLY APPOINTED CONSULTANT AND TO EARN A FEW EXTRA BOB, HE WOULD VISIT PATIENTS IN THEIR OWN HOMES (DOMICILIARY VISITS).    HE WAS CALLED OUT ONE NIGHT TO SEE AN ELDERLY, OVERWEIGHT IRISH LADY WHO WAS BLEEDING INTO THE BED ‘DOWN BELOW’. SHE WAS SO FRIGHTENED THAT SHE WAS GOING TO DIE, HER DAUGHTER HAD PHONED THE CATHOLIC PRIEST TO COME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE TO GIVE HER THE LAST RITES (JUST IN CASE).

DAD COULDN’T DETERMINE WHETHER THE BLEEDING WAS VAGINAL OR ANAL, SO HE TURNED HER OVER AND CONDUCTED A 2 FINGER DIGITAL EXAMINATION - UP BOTH.  HE THEN WENT OUT ON THE LANDING TO TALK TO THE DAUGHTER – AFTER SEVERAL MINUTES, THE OLD LADY SHOUTED OUT “BRIDEY - WOTS U AND DAT YOUNG PRIEST A’TALKIN BOUT?” OBVIOUSLY, SHE HAD NEVER EXPERIENCED  THE LAST RITES BEFORE.

DAD COULDN’T SPEAK, HE JUST BOLTED OUT THE FRONT DOOR. HE SAID “I WOULD  HAVE LOVED TO HAVE ‘BEEN A FLY ON THE WALL’ WHEN THE REAL PRIEST TURNED UP. I BET THE OLD GIRL WAS REALLY DISAPPOINTED!”

OVER THE YEARS, DAD AND I DEVELOPED A CODE OF SARCASTIC DRY WIT BETWEEN OURSELVES WHERE WE WOULD POLITELY ‘TAKE THE MICKEY OUT OF EACH OTHER’ BUT IN AN AFFECTIONATE WAY. MY LAST SUCH MEMORY WAS ON THE PENULTIMATE NIGHT BEFORE HE DIED.

WE HAD BROUGHT HIS BED DOWNSTAIRS INTO THE LOUNGE AND HE WAS LYING THERE - VERY POORLY WITH PNEUMONIA AND RENAL FAILURE. HE WAS FIGHTING FOR BREATH AND CONFUSED DUE TO HIS ALZHEIMER’S CONDITION. I WASN’T REALLY SURE IF HE KNEW IF I WAS IN THE ROOM OR NOT,  SO I DECIDED TO TRY AND MAKE CONTACT,  I SAID  “DAD - YOU REALLY MUST TRY AND CONCENTRATE, YOU  ARE GETTING CONFUSED BETWEEN YOUR GLASS OF ORANGE JUICE AND YOUR WASTE URINE BOTTLE - ITS MAKING YOUR BREATH SMELL!”  

IT WORKED - I GOT THROUGH.  HE COULDN’T VERBALLY RESPOND BUT LOOKED AROUND THE ROOM, FIXED ME WITH HIS WATERY BLUE EYED STARE, GRINNED, GAVE ME A WINK, SLOWLY RAISED HIS ARM AND GAVE ME HIS FAVOURITE ‘BATTLE OF AGINCOURT’ STYLE TWO FINGER SALUTE. (V).   THAT WAS THE LAST PROPER CONTACT WE HAD.   HE DIED THE NEXT DAY.

I HAVE BEEN TO MANY FUNERALS OVER THE YEARS, SOME OF WHICH HAVE BEEN IN THIS CHURCH. I CANT REMEMBER HAVING SEEN A FULL HOUSE SCENARIO BEFORE. WE, THE FAMILY TAKE THIS AS A HUGE COMPLIMENT THAT SO MANY HAVE TAKEN THE TROUBLE TO ATTEND THIS REMEMBRANCE SERVICE WITH US. THANK YOU ALL SO VERY MUCH FOR COMING.

David Brookes